All the Light I Cannot See
by myshipsaresunk
Summary: Pre-Ant-Man. Scott is arrested for taking justice into his own hands, and while he's a hero to dozens of people for it, the one person that really matters, his daughter, will grow up wondering why her daddy is in a place with bad people. He wants so desperately to be her hero, but can he? Can he make it three years in hell before seeing her again? One-Shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own _Ant-Man_. It belongs to Marvel Studios and Disney Studios.

Rating: K+

Author's Note: More father/daughter whump, because I'm a sucker for it, especially after seeing Ant-Man. (Not to mention I feel guilty for accidentally stepping on an ant a few minutes before I wrote this). If you like this, feel free to check out my other Ant-Man one-shot, "Below the Surface".

All The Light I Cannot See

When the flashing lights converged on him, the sirens wailing and policemen shouting, the metal gleam off the silver handcuffs whispering his sentence to him silently - that's when Scott thinks about her. That's when he sees her beautiful, clear face, her wide, chocolate brown eyes, and her dark brown hair. That's when he hears her crystal laugh ring in his head, and he finds the courage to drop to his knees, putting his hands on the back of his head. The policemen shove his face into the ground, but he doesn't feel the gritty sidewalk scratch against his skin. They snap the handcuffs closed around his wrists, but he doesn't feel the pinch. They grab him and yank him to his feet, none too gently, but all he sees is her.

She's not really there, of course, and that's for the better. He doesn't know if he could stand to watch her watch him being taken away. He knows she'd cry and scream for him, fighting against the restraining arms that would be separating them. She's scream and cry for her daddy, too young to understand what he had done. And even if she had been able to understand, she'd be too distraught over losing her daddy to care.

So its for the best, even if he wishes he could hold her close one more time, petting her long hair and speaking quiet encouragements in her ear. She'd squeeze her skinny little arms around his neck so tight they'd be constricting, but he wouldn't care. All of that is just being part of a dad. And it's a joy, a genuine joy.

But that's being taken away from him. He'd done something good by using bad means, and now he's being hauled off to prison. Sure, the judge hasn't officially given him a sentence yet, but he knows it's too late. This is what a good man who stands up for other good people get - a one way trip to jail.

He leans against the door of the police car, his seat belt tightly strapped across his chest, his handcuffs constraining his wrists. They're unnecessary, really - he's not going to fight the police officers. He's not a bad man. He's going to take responsibility for his actions, and he's going to reap what he sowed. Even if it means losing his daughter, even if it means losing his future, even if it means losing himself. He's a good man, and that's all he'll ever be.

It goes much deeper down than that, though. What is his motivation for being a good man in a world full of bad men? What's his motivation to stay a good man? It all boils down to one important and significant person: his daughter Cassie. She is the world to him, and he sees how she looks at him. Complete admiration. He's her hero, and he'll do anything to live up to those standards, even if that means going to prison for his good deeds.

His time in police custody goes by quickly. He uses his one phone call to call Cassie's mother, and after quickly explaining the situation (of course she instantly blamed him and began to be abhorred by him, the exact reason why their relationship didn't work out) she finally, and unwillingly, let him talk to Cassie. She is young, just older than five, but she still understands that he's in trouble.

"Hey, Peanut," he says, a smile growing on his face. He gets to talk to her at least on more time, and for that he's more than grateful.

"Hey, Daddy!" she replies excitedly. "When are you coming to visit?"

Her voice is so full of enthusiasm and hope that he almost can't break the news to her. He almost can't admit that he won't see her for a long time, but he has to be the one to tell her, because he doesn't trust her mother to tell it to her kindly and truthfully. "Daddy won't be able to come visit for a while." He swallows hard after saying the worlds, trying to fight back the stinging in his eyes. He can't do this now, not when she can hear him. He has to be strong for her.

"Why not?" she sounds so downcast and instantly sad, and his job becomes so much harder. _I can do this, I can do this,_ he tells himself, though he doesn't feel that way.

"Because, baby, I'm going someplace far away. These people are taking me away because I made some bad choices, and they won't let me out for a while. You're going to have to stay with your mommy for a while." He barely gets the words out past the lump in his throat.

"But you're gonna be home as soon as you can, right, Daddy?" her voice has perked up a little again, and even though she can't see it, the corners of his lips move up in a small smile.

"Wouldn't dream of doing anything else, Peanut." He pauses, even though his phone call time is running out and he still has so much more to say. He has to be able to pass on only what will be necessary to her. He has to leave her with something to look forward to. "Hey, Daddy has to go soon, but I need to tell you something."

"I'm listening," she answers, and he knows she is. The amount of love and adoration she pushes his way is unmeasurable and unequal to anything else.

"Be a good girl for me. You be strong and independent, because things might get hard. Stand up for what you believe in, and don't listen to bullies. Ya hear me?"

"Of course, Daddy!" Then her voice becomes small and sad again. "Mommy says I have to hang up."

"She's right," he agrees. "Just know that no matter what I still love you more than anything. Okay?"

"I love you to, Daddy!"

The line terminates and he hands up the phone, though he isn't able to take his hand off the handle. His knuckles are white from his grip, his head down and his eyes flooding with tears. His heart feels like it dropped into an unending abyss. Is being a good guy worth all the sacrifice and pain? Who knows how long it will be until he gets to hold his little girl again? Who knows how long it will be until he can take her out for ice cream and treat her like a princess?

He has to stay strong, though. He made her a promise, and he isn't about to break it. She's his world, his light in the darkness, and he's not going to let it all go because he's feeling sad and lonely. He's going to make something out of himself, and he's going to find other ways to fight against injustice.

He's going to see his little girl again.

* * *

"What are you in here for, Scotty?" a voice in the cell next to his asks. "Assault? Murder? Larceny? Identity theft?"

He doesn't want to answer. He really doesn't. It's not their business, and they shouldn't care. They might just rile him up for it, and then he can't get out early on good behaviour. Besides, the pain is still too fresh and the grief runs cold in his veins, and he doesn't want to think about how long he'll be here, away from his precious daughter.

"Burglary," he replies, sighing softly to himself. "I'm not a bad guy."

"Tell me," another voice chimes in, and that feeling of not wanting to share wells up again, but he suppresses it. The only way he'll survive in this hellhole is if he makes friends.

"There's this guy, a big, rich corporate owner. He took part of everyone's pay away and kept it to himself, but since he's so influential he never was caught and prosecuted. I became fed up and hacked into his accounts, taking the millions of stolen money and returning it to the rightful owners. Police caught me, prosecuted me, and locked me up in here for the next five years. Three if I'm good."

Three years in this place. Three years until he sees his daughter. Scott rests his head against his pillow, staring up into the dark corners of the cell ceiling. It's so dark, dark like the depths of his heart, and just so damn lonely. He just wants his baby girl back again, back into the safety of his arms.

"That's not too bad, man," a guy replies. "I'm in here for at least a decade."

"That's a pretty kick-ass crime you committed," another man puts in. "Kinda like Robin Hood and crap. You a hero, man!"

"Yeah, I guess," he murmurs, though he can't help but think that although all of these men, and all of the employees who received their stolen money, think he's a hero, the one person that truly matters to him probably doesn't even think about him anymore. By being a hero to dozens he became a bad guy to his daughter. Her mother probably is feeding her the story about how he stole from people, and how he has to pay for his crimes.

Cassie has all the traits her mother once had. Scott fell in love with a beautiful, kind, and loyal woman. She worked hard, and he worked hard, and the two of them made it work for a while. After Cassie was born something just clicked in her, though. Changed her. She became pessimistic and cold, at least when it came to him, and they grew apart. Cassie kept them somewhat in touch, but now Scott will be lucky to visit on birthdays and Christmas, if that.

As he stares up into the corner he sees a small crack. It's tiny, maybe the size of a dime, and he can see that light is struggling but failing to shine through. It makes him sad, even more depressed than he already is, because it makes him think of his daughter. That crack is so close and yet so far, failing to let it's brightness come through and brighten his dark cell. In the same way, Cassie is so close and yet so far, not being able to be here with him and not being able to brighten up his dark life.

At least he can see that this light is trying, though; Cassie is all the light he cannot see, and all he light he needs to see. He needs a constant reminder of what he's fighting for, of what he's striving to work towards. If he loses sight he may lose it all, but he's not going to. He can't. She's all he has to look forward to.

He's going to straighten his life out, and he's going to earn that look on her face. He's going to really be her hero, and one day they'll be reunited again.

He'll go through this hell just for her. He put himself here, he'll get himself out. He can do it. He will do it. Because one day that hole in the corner of his cell with break open wide enough to let light in, and one day he'll break himself out of here and her brightness will penetrate his dark world once again.

And one day he won't even remember what this darkness feels like.


End file.
